It was the Saturday that the Master had arranged to be collected from the grand new hotel at Cromer, so his new and extremely elegant black brougham was being sent to do the job. Ted spent the morning with the polishing cloth and spoke-brush adding gloss to gleam. Then the grooms had harnessed the horse and his father had lept upon the footboard and clattered out of the stable-yard.
It was after he'd reached the turnpike that Ted's father, the driver of the brougham began to wonder what was going on. Two gentlemen on hunters had just doffed their hats to him, when normally they would have cursed him for his splatter. At Mardlingham Cross, two elegant young ladies in beribboned bonnets had stopped to give him their best curtseys, not the sort of thing to be expected when the vehicle was empty.
At the next toll-gate, the robust harridan in charge of the bar also curtsied. That was it, no empty vehicle would excite such respect! The coachman spun about and was just in time to see a top-hat ducking out of sight below the level of the brougham’s windows.
“Ha!” he cried, grabbing the whip, “Thieves and footpads!”
Despite the mud splashes that had rather spoilt the gleam of the brougham's black lacquer, the brass door-handle still glowed in the shower spangled sunshine. The coachman grabbed for it, flung it open and stared inside. As you might expect, there was nobody there. The opposite door, still swinging, showed where the miscreant had gone. A top-hat rolled in a quarter circle, reversed and fell into the mud at his feet. As he bent to pick it up, the glimpse of a pair of brown boots, caused him to start back in anger.
“Ted!” he yelled, “Oi'd know them boots ena'ware, han’t Oi mended em offen anuff? Now git roun' hare or Oi’ll tan yer hide.”
Ted, who was no stranger to his fathers justice, slunk the longest way round, stroking the patient horse’s long nose as he passed.
“Thas no gud appealin to Dobbin” said his father, yew know Oi niver hark to 'im, 'ow ever much he like’s yer.”
“Is thus really th' way t'th' seaside?” asked Ted in a hopeful voice.
“Whut'a'we goin' to do abou' yew an' the marster’s topper then?” sighed his father, his face breaking into a grin at the cheek of it.
“S'pose Oi kin give it a fare ol' scrub” said Ted, rather doubtfully.
“Or'roight then” growled his father, “But mind yer leave the mud to dry fust.”
“Yessir” muttered Ted, starting to walk back along the Mardlingham road.
“An' now ware d'yer think yew’re a'goin? In sich a'nurry tew” said his father.
“Hum fer me brushes” said Ted.
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Notes:
Brougham (pronounced ‘Broom’) = A glazed two seater carriage usually with a single horse. For more details see Horse and Carriage.
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